There are things that people say about us that we never see. For example, my husband thinks I’m beautiful. I think I’m pretty cute, but beautiful? No. I don’t see that, but I know he thinks it by the way he looks at me. I’ve often thought about what’s going to happen when I die. What will people say about me? What legacy am I leaving? What unique qualities do I have that will be brought up at the funeral? I’m pretty outspoken, but what convictions do I really have? So, I started thinking about who I am and what I’m really about. Every once in a while, I will be posting revelations about myself as I realize them. Here’s what I’ve gathered so far:
1. I hate music first thing in the morning. It puts me in a bad mood, I get a really short temper, and the day rarely ends well. This is very strange because I teach music and I do musical theatre. So, it’s not what you’d expect, but it is the truth.
2. I often question the choices I’ve made in my life. In fact, I think about the past constantly and wonder how different my life would be if I had decided to stay in New York, or go to college, or stay in New Mexico, or not buy this house. However, the question flies out of my head when I get one of those “I love my life” moments with my daughters. These happen often enough to where I’m generally a very happy person. But on the bad days, I do daydream about all the possibilities I once had in my life.
3. My memory is ridiculously good. I remember elementary school like it was yesterday. I can name every teacher I ever had. I can tell you where I went on every first date. I remember the last song to every dance I went to. In some cases, I can tell you what I was wearing, along with everyone around me. This is a good and bad thing. It’s upsetting when I have a very vivid memory that altered my life course, but the person involved doesn’t remember a thing. There’s not a better way to feel unimportant. It’s great, though, when traveling down Memory Lane with a good friend and we are both reminded of our youth and what a wonderful childhood we had.
4. I love trashy TV, but I draw the line at The Jersey Shore. However, I love me some Real Housewives. Which is worse?
5. I would be the best rich person in the world. I’ve already got all the love with my family – I’m only missing the money. I would be generous and appreciate it more than anyone.
6. I want to do many things when I grow up. I want to be a psychologist, political analyst, Oprah Winfrey, author – I realize I’m grown up now, but I still dream.
OK, so that’s all the revelations for now. Overall, I’m happy with my life and thankful for all the blessings. But I am one of those “the grass is always greener” people. Oh, one more revelation.
7. I wish I wasn’t a “the grass is always greener” person.
